Robert Pattinson: One of the UNsexiest men alive? Wait. Really?

Goodness gracious, the turnaround time from buildup to backlash has become practically nonexistent now that last week’s hot dish is being treated like this week’s table scraps. That’s right, ladies, according to the arbiters of doability over at the Boston Phoenix, Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson has been named the 100th unsexiest man alive. Say what?

Now, it’s perfectly understandable to be feeling a little burnt out on the incessant hype surrounding Stephenie Meyer’s vampire empire. Fortunately we at EW have resisted the urge to jump on the bandwagon and have been a model of targeted, judicious coverage. Okay, maybe not. But no matter how you slice it, the floppy-topped young Brit is far from being critically in need of a sexy transplant. The Phoenix dings him for alleged stinkiness. But maybe the poor kid was feeling a little stressed out. And one woman’s b.o. is another’s dead-sexy pheromones. And don’t get us wrong, Pattinson needs to put some serious mileage on his soul (all that silly brooding doesn’t substitute for real grit and depth) before he makes our list of dreamweavers. But, if they want to maintain any credibility, they’d better stock the list with the true eunuchs of the world. Okay, PopWatchers, what do you think? Could the Phoenix possibly be onto something? Does Pattinson belong on this list? And who do you think belongs on that list? Who douses your fire the quickest?