50+ Best Dad Jokes to Make You Laugh and Roll Your Eyes
For better or worse, dad jokes are an American humor staple. They shaped our childhoods and now have become an inspiration for memes. There’s truly no escaping their hold on us.
Whether you’ve become a dad yourself and want to have some material to make your children roll their eyes or you’re just looking to be the resident pun-master, here are some of the staple dad jokes you need to add to your arsenal.
The Best Dad Jokes
There are some dad jokes that will always be classics. Here are some of the fundamental dad jokes that you need to know if you’re looking to build a foundation for your dad humor repertoire.
Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it is two tired.
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick
Q: What time is the dentist appointment?
A: Tooth-hurty.
I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.
I’m on a seafood diet.
If I see food, I eat it.
Q: How do you compliment a farmer?
A: You say he’s outstanding in his field.
Q: Are you getting a haircut?
A: No, I’m getting them all cut!
Q: Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
A: Because they’re so good at it.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
A: That proves it works.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it!
My son said he’d call me later.
I said, “Don’t call me Later, call me Dad!”
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it’s tearable.
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he Neverlands.
Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?
A: It should be apparent.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!
Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.
Q: When golfing, why do people take an extra pair of socks?
A: Just in case they get a hole in one!
Funny Dad Jokes
Most dad jokes are known for making us roll our eyes. But we have to admit…some of them are actually kind of funny. Here are some of the dad jokes that are a little less likely to make you facepalm.
If a guy tells a dad joke but doesn’t have a kid…
Does that make him a faux pa?
That graveyard looks overcrowded.
I guess people must be dying to get in there.
If a child refuses to nap…
Are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?
A: Times Square.
Can you pass me the henway?
What’s a henway?
About 2 pounds.
Q: Why do nurses like red crayons the best?
A: Because sometimes they have to draw blood.
Q: Which state has the most streets?
A: Rhode Island.
I ordered a chicken and egg online.
I’ll let you know which one comes first.
It’s always a little sad when you get to Sunday…
But the day before is a sadder day.
I lost my job at the bank.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Q: Why did the bank teller lose their job?
A: Because they didn’t have any common sense.
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it.
I saw a lazy kangaroo the other day.
I called him a pouch potato.
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type o.”
Walks Into a Bar Jokes
One of the classic joke formats is “so ‘blank’ walks into a bar…”
Here are some of the best dad jokes that start with that classic phrase.
A guy walks into a bar.
The second guy ducks.
A guy walks into a bar…
And is disqualified from the limbo contest.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first two ask for a pint of blood. The third asks for plasma.
The barkeep says “So two bloods and a blood lite?”
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks “How much, barkeep?”
The bartender says, “For you? No charge!”
E-flat walks into a bar…
And the bouncer throws him out saying, “We don’t serve minors!”
The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers here.”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A ghost walks into a bar.
The barkeep says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
A Roman walks into a bar…
Puts up two fingers, and says, “I’ll have five beers.”
Give a man a duck, and he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to duck and he’ll never walk into a bar again.
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Geeky Dad Jokes
Some dads are nerds. There’s no getting around it. Here are some dad jokes you’re likely to hear if your dad is a dork.
There was a robbery at the Apple Store.
Oddly enough, there was no iWitness.
I have a joke about chemistry…
But I don’t think it will get much of a reaction.
If you aren’t part of the solution…
You are part of the precipitate.
A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he has any luggage.
He says, “No, I travel light.”
Q: Where do you store all your dad jokes?
A: A dada-base.
Q: Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
A: Because they fought and 2021.
Don’t trust atoms.
They make up everything!
Q: What do you call it when Batman skips church?
A: Christian Bale.
Dad Joke Memes
Dad jokes have evolved with the digital age of humor. We not only will hear dad jokes at family reunions; we’ll see them online, too. They’re practically inescapable.Here are some dad jokes that have become memes.
#1- New Balances are essential to dad fashion. So glad this kid recognizes that.
#2 – We all know the classic “dad doesn’t want a cat, we get a cat anyway, dad loves the cat” trope. It’s so true though.
#3 – Ooof.
#4 – At least he’s succeeding in some way.
#5 – Heh. Laughs in English major.
#6 – A spicy take on the original.
#7 – Leave it to a dad to turn a WWI history fact into a dad joke.
The Best Humor Is Delivered With Confidence
What makes a dad joke a dad joke? It’s a joke that generally relies on groan-worthy puns, but the most important element is the delivery.
The teller of the dad joke must deliver the lines with unwavering confidence, unabashed by any boos or groans from the surrounding parties. We tell dad jokes because we think they’re funny.
So, continue telling your dad jokes, whether or not they are crowd-pleasers. Dad jokes are for you.
Did we miss some of your favorite jokes? Let us know in the comments and add some of your favorite jokes!
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