Season Of The Witch Review: Burn At The Stake

With every January comes a slew of bad movies. All the films that want to have Oscar consideration have to be released in theaters by the end of the year, so it makes sense that the movies coming out shortly thereafter would have a few shortcomings. So needless to say, I didn’t have very high expectations for Season of the Witch.

For the first part of the film, I actually found myself thinking ‘This isn’t that horrible for a January film.’ Despite the quality of the script, I still found myself relatively entertained with the supernatural elements and the banter between Nicolas Cage’s character Behmen and Ron Perlman’s character Felson. However, after about a hour into the film, my opinion did a 180, and by the time the final fight scene arrived – I couldn’t help but giggle. It was the type of scene where you nudge the person next to you to see if they find this as comical as you do, because you can’t possibly be expected to take it seriously.

With the final fight sequence, the script lost all integrity (though I’m not sure it ever had any to start with), and then there was the effects which could have been better assembled by a 5 year old… with ADD. It’s like they just gave up, they knew it sucked – so they were like ‘Alright what’s the crappiest way we can do it? Let’s do that!’

So now that I’ve dramatically lowered any expectations you have for the film, let me tell you what it’s about. Behmen (Cage) and Felson (Perlman) are two legendary knights of the Crusades. However, Behmen soon finds his eyes opened. They’re not carrying out God’s will at all. They’re killing innocent women and children. Behmen and Felson pack up their bags and head homeward. When stopping in a small town that has been crippled by the plague, Behmen and Fleson try to disguise the fact that they’ve left the Crusades, only to be discovered and captured. The ticket to freedom involves transporting a girl accused of witchcraft to a remote monastery where the monks can decide her fate. Of course, somehow, Behman falls for the person he know is trapped inside this girl. Determined to keep her safe he agrees to transport her. The journey ensues, and with every second that passes you’ll find yourself wishing that you were burned at the stake instead of watching this film.

Bottom line, you’ll be ashamed for paying to see this. Go spend your money on one of the limited release films that’s up for a Golden Globe. You’ll be able to respect yourself in the morning, and you won’t be depressed that you’ll never have that hour and half back.

Review By: Emma Loggins

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FanBolt also attended Press Day for Season of The Witch. We were able to chat with Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, Robert Sheehan, and Stephan Campbell Moore. Check it out here.

Responses

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  1. Please nobody listen to what Emma wrote.this movies the best of the year so far. Everybody got their own oppion this is comin from a movie freak ya hemi!!!!!

  2. The previews to this movie, did not make it look good, so its no suprise to me that you didn’t like it. Im not a big Nicholas Cage fan in general though. Sounds like it has a wierd plot in general.

  3. It sounds like the type of movie that if you’re not into the genre you shouldn’t bother with it. The problem with so-called professional critics is they go see everything regardless. The only reason I think of this is he envokes the Golden Globes.
    I’m sorry but the Golden Globes nominees aren’t my type. So I’d rather hear from a fan to see if this is a good representation of the genre.

  4. I should note I definitely don’t go see everything. I’m a fangirl when it comes to the supernatural genre which is why I went. 🙂 I love the genre. I love supernatural movies, and Supernatural is my favorite TV show. Not to mention I’m so fascinated by the history of witches that I’ve actually visited Salem, MA. That being said, I still don’t believe it’s a good representation of the genre. Like I said, the beginning wasn’t so bad, but that last fight scene… I wasn’t the only one laughing 😉 I’d love to hear from more people that have seen it though!

  5. I think you should be proud of yourself for that headline. It’ll ease the pain of the awful, awful waste of film. 🙂