35+ ‘Step Brothers’ Quotes that Make You Want to Rewatch the Movie

Fans of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly likely enjoyed their 2008 movie directed by Adam McKay. There are plenty of memorable Step Brothers quotes that can get a laugh out of any fan. But how do you pick your favorite?

Here are a bunch of Step Brothers quotes that will make you want to rewatch the movie.

*Heads up – STRONG language warning below*

Funny Step Brothers Quotes

Above all else, fans love the Will Farrell and John C. Reilly duo for their humor. Here are some funny lines from the comedy.

“Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon.” — Nancy Huff

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short, and I roamed the backyard. I chased the neighborhood cats; I growled, and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day, my dad said, ‘Bobby, you’re 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside,’ and I said, ‘OK, Pop.’ But he didn’t really say that. He said, ‘Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.’” — Dr. Robert Doback

“I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?”

— Brennan Huff

“I’m gonna take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the sh*t out of you!” — Brennan Huff

“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” — Nancy Huff

Brennan: “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”

Dale: “I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that’s what you mean.”

Brennan: “Well, Pan…”

Pam: “No, it’s Pam.”

Brennan: “Are you saying, Pan or Pam?”

Pam: “My name is Pam.”

Brennan: “Pand, there’s a D on the end.”

Pam: “No, there’s no D.”

“I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek Huff

“You’re wearing tuxedos to a job that requires you to clean bathrooms!” — Pam

Dale: “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.”

Brennan: “You have to call me Nighthawk.”

“You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek Huff

“I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.” — Dale Doback

Nancy Huff: “Guys. Guys. Guys!”

[both guys wake up and quote last line from their dreams]

Brennan Huff: “I’ll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.”

Dale Doback: “The clown has no penis.”

Nancy Huff: “What kind of dreams are you guys having?”

Brennan Huff: “You’ve actually seen him eating a man’s penis?”

Derek Huff: “It was in international waters, so they couldn’t prosecute him. But I saw it.”

Iconic Step Brothers Quotes

Some moments from the movie are so memorable that you can’t forget the line. Here are some of the most iconic quotes from the movie.

“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback

Dale: “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” 

Brennan: “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f***!”

“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale Doback

“Dad, we’re men, OK? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We talk about pussy. We go on riverboat-gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do. And now that is all wrecked.” — Dale Doback

“That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” — Dale Doback

“When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.” — Brennan Huff

“Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. Fuck you.” — Dale Doback

“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.” — Brennan Huff

“I’m not gonna call him dad, not even if there’s a fire.” — Brennan Huff

“What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan Huff

Dale: “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?”

Brennan: “It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!”

Dr. Doback: “Is this your purse in the freezer?”

Nancy: “Yes… it’s Brennan… he sleepwalks.” 

Dr. Doback: “Are you serious? Dale sleepwalks, too. Check the oven.” 

Nancy: (checks oven) “Couch pillows.”

Dale: “Why are you so sweaty?”

Brennan: “I was watching Cops.”

“I’m a pussy Pirate my name is Jack Sparrow, take off my pants so you can see my flesh arrow…Boats ‘n’ Hoes, I gotta have me more boats ‘n’ hoes.” — Boats N’ Hoes Theme Song

Relatable Step Brothers Quotes

Even though most can’t relate to two 40 year olds that choose to live with their parents, they have the occasional line that you can’t help but relate to. Here are some Step Brothers quotes that make you say “mood.”

“I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale Doback

“Dad, what are you going? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale Doback

“Did we just become best friends?” — Brennan Huff

“On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.” — Dale Doback

“Listen, gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story, and possibly, the evening.” — Derek Huff

“Dad, what a terrible idea. Why did you let us do that?” — Dale Doback

“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation by people who’ve heard me. That good.” — Brennan Huff

Dale Doback: “Why do you have Randy Jackson’s autograph on a martial arts weapon?”

Brennan Huff: “’Cause I bumped into him and all I had on me was this samurai sword. And you’re not gonna not get Randy Jackson’s autograph, right?”

Dale Doback: “I would’ve done the exact same thing.”

Favorite Step Brothers Quotes

If you’re a fan of Step Brothers, it’s tough to pick a favorite moment. So if you’re a fan of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, what’s your favorite Step Brothers quote? Let us know in the comments!