‘Winter’s Tale’ Review: Another Reason to Yearn for Spring

A Winter's TaleFebruary always brings with it those corny romantic movies that girls love to drag their boyfriends to, so they can “ohhh” and “awee” over the romantic gestures of those Ryan Gosling-type hunks. I’m not calling anyone out – I’m one of those girls myself. However, this Valentine’s Day, Hollywood has not brought us any movies worth lusting after. Winter’s Tale is probably the worst film that 2014 will bring us – and is definitely on my list for worst films I’ve ever seen. You’re probably thinking, “Geez… that’s harsh.” However, I welcome debates on this from any fans that feel differently.

Here’s official and brief description that Warner Brothers released: Set in a mythic New York City and spanning more than a century, Winter’s Tale is a story of miracles, crossed destinies, and the age-old battle between good and evil.

I’m all about sci-fi/fantasy films, but that just isn’t the kind of film that Winter’s Tale feels like to me. There is time travel, a flying horse and demons… and just wait until you see who plays the devil. I won’t spoil it for you as the laughter that you’ll have in that moment is the one of the only good things about this film.

And there’s the acting… Where to start… I’m not sure what bet Colin Farrell lost that roped him to being the lead in this film. He’s not believable at all in this role… but that being said there’s a flying horse so being believable isn’t really a concern here (I wouldn’t consider this a sci-fi or fantasy film so I’m going keep pointing that out). Russell Crowe’s decision to do this movie is just another poor career move… like thinking he could sing in Les Miserables. Jessica Brown Findlay certainly is adorable and whimsical. I will say there is something about her that is enchanting and ultimately – for this film – refreshing – but not enough that it makes up for the rest of the train wreck here.

The script, for the most part, is remarkably bad, yet it has two or three moments of dialogue that are actually kind of smart and comical – and they seem like they don’t belong at all. Like a screenwriter friend came in and attempted to help Akiva Goldsman (director, screenwriter), but then just subsequently gave up. I will say I haven’t read the novel by Mark Helprin, so perhaps it’s not all Akiva Goldsman’s fault (I mean Goldsman did win an Academy Award for screenwriting for A Beautiful Mind) – but regardless this isn’t a movie that should have been made. I don’t understand how anyone in Hollywood saw this script and said, “Yes. Let’s make that one.”

Final thoughts… You’re better than this Warner Brothers. Time travel yourself back and unmake this movie.

Grade: F
Review By: Emma Loggins


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