You all endlessly bitched to us when we played messenger hinting that Jen Aniston and John Mayer were slowly yawning out of their relaysh. Now the off ‘n’ on pair are back off, which we so saw coming on Oscar night even more than we saw Kate Winslet’s win.
Would Jenny be chitchatting with Gwen and Gavin at the Vanity Fair bash all night long instead of her own man if she were really that into him? And would Johnny be jumping at the chance for a photo op with female fans if he’d rather hang with his date? Please, doesn’t take a celebrity scientist to read the signs.
Mayer was obviously…
…just sticking around long enough to go to the Oscars so he could gawk at all the stars way more famous than he is.
Not that Jenny minded much—think she was gonna show up to the same bash as Brangelina flying solo? Not a chance. That’d be a worse move than starring in Rumor Has It 2.
Look, we’ve told you before, we’ll remind you now: This duo was more dunzo than Jake Gyllenhaal’s interest in Brokeback Mountain 2. Like, a zillion years ago, too. And now that you’re back at square one in search of a new piece of arm candy to schlep around town, Jen, take our advice and find a nice behind-the-scenes hunk who won’t steal your glossy-haired thunder.
Your taste in men is almost as bad as Rihanna’s, truly.