Charlie Sheen Is Fired And Responds By Referencing Breached Whales

Charlie Sheen has been formally fired from Two and a Half Men. Warner Bros. sent Sheen a letter yesterday informing him of his termination from the show. Sheen had another year to go on his contract.

Reps for the studio say that no final decision has been made about the fate of the show, other than the fact that Sheen will not be on the series.

In addition, the letter Warner Bros. sent to Sheen states that he was fired because he committed a felony involving “moral turpitude.” The eleven-page letter says sheen has been fired because “Your client has been engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill” before detailing all the escapades that Sheen has been involved in from his incident at the Plaza Hotel in NYC, his cocaine binges, problems on set due to drug fatigue and his rants against show creator Chuck Lorre.

The letter adds that he derailed production when he went into rehab and then fired his sobriety coach. The studio states there is a clause in his contract that allows them to fire him if he commits “a felony offense involving moral turpitude.”

Charlie Sheen has responded to the news that he has been fired from Two and a Half Men. Sheen issued the following statement yesterday:

“This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”