‘Warehouse 13’ 5.04 Episode Recap and Review: Savage Seduction

To kick off this week’s episode of Warehouse 13, our old friend Dr. Kelly shows up at the B&B, heavily pregnant and needing Pete and Myka’s help. Her grandmother’s television is possessed! When they arrive, the TV is still on despite being unplugged, and Nana is nowhere to be found. On right now is Seducción Salvaje, Nana’s favorite telenovela. Funny thing is, the show ended last night, and the matron of the Obregon dynasty certainly wasn’t played by Kelly’s grandmother, who seems to be sitting in that very role. Kelly becomes even more concerned, as Doña Fausta Obregon is murdered at the end of the episode.

Kelly and Myka get a little too close to the glowing television and get sucked in themselves, instantly taking on the roles of rich Carmen and feisty maid, Maribel. Pete summons Artie for backup, and the two discover that Nana was given a brooch from the show for being such a huge fan. Artie theorizes that her devotion to the show created an Artifact that allowed Nana to become part of her favorite program. (Note to self: Stay away from the Warehouse 13 eBay auction.) Doña Fausta is currently wearing the brooch inside the program, so Pete and Artie have to jump in to fix the situation. They use Harvey Korman’s cufflinks to retain their own identities, lest they become part of the program like Kelly and Myka did.

Pete wakes up alone in the show and quickly discovers that he’s playing Armando, Carmen’s fiancé and Maribel’s lover. As he tries to find Artie, he hears a gunshot! Doña Fausta has been shot (in the arm) and had her precious brooch stolen. She believes it has something to do with her long-lost son, Colonel Rafael Obregon. She’d just found a note with information pertaining to him when she was shot. Pete quickly deduces that the note was left by Maribel.

Maribel takes him to the asylum where Colonel Obregon is being kept. Of course, we know Colonel Obregon better as Artie. Now there’s a tiny problem: The Colonel knows who’s behind everything, but Artie doesn’t. Artie gives Pete his cufflink so that he can become the Colonel and tell them everything. Upon awakening, the Colonel attacks Pete, since Alicia (Carmen’s mother), told him that Armando was responsible for his being held in the asylum. While under attack, Pete drops the cufflinks, only for Maribel to pick them up and become Myka again. The Colonel reveals that Maribel is his one true daughter (of course).

They all run back to Doña Fausta’s house to prevent Alicia and Carmen from killing her before she can find out about Carmen’s true parentage and change her will to write them out of it. Tons upon tons of silly fighting and cufflink-dropping ensue, until finally Artie finds the stolen brooch and snaps it, bringing everyone safely back out of the telenovela.

Kelly and Pete have a “too bad we didn’t work out, but it’s for the best” moment. Kelly says that she always knew they wouldn’t work because Pete is obviously in love with Myka. OMG!

Over on the B-plot, Claud has been driving herself crazy trying to think of a way to save Claire. Artie sends her on a ping with Steve. A college kid spontaneously broke his spine in three places right in the middle of a presentation to his class. Steve and Claud investigate, only to find that the same kid was partying hard several miles away and fell from a bridge at the exact same time. They trace a video from his cellphone to a frat on campus (Psi Phi Zeta. Yes, I giggled). At the frat house, they see yet another kid drinking hard, while his twin seems to be studying quietly out on the lawn. The drunk kid passes out, and suddenly his studying twin is three sheets to the wind. What gives?

The dynamic duo sneak into the frat’s initiation ceremony, where the pledges are burning a double-ended candle and reciting “My Candle Burns at Both Ends” by Edna St. Vincent Milay. The frat boys unmask Jinksie and splash him with some of the wax. By the time Claudia bursts in, the brothers are gone, but there are two Steves! One Steve is super-grumpy and rules-oriented, the other has been watching waaaaay too much Logo.

The team invades the party upstairs to recover the candle, which works fine until Flamboyant Steve steals it and runs away. Grumpy Steve catches up to him in the middle of the frat house, initiating a pretty hardcore twin-fight. Claudia manages to snag and bag the candle, but that doesn’t reunite Steve’s two halves. She figures out that she has to knock one of them out, so she Tesla’s her happy new shopping buddy. Claud and Steve make a few references to RuPaul’s Drag Race, share a Moment of Friendship, then head back to the Warehouse.

Claudia isn’t back on Claire’s case very long before Artie storms in. Claire is gone, and nobody knows who took her!

I mentioned it last week, but it bears repeating: Guys, I loved this episode so hard! The telenovela was hilarious from start to finish, and bringing Kelly back in for closure was a great choice (at least for the relationship that the writers are setting up now). Seriously, I want to start watching telenovelas now.

As much as I adored the A plot this episode, I wasn’t so keen on the B plot. Don’t get me wrong. I thought Aaron Ashmore did a brilliant job portraying the two sides of Jinksie. (Side note: the original plan was to bring in Aaron’s twin brother Shawn (X-men, The Following) to play one of the Steves, but the timing just didn’t work out.) That being said, I wasn’t too keen on Steve’s more flamboyant side. It seemed rather untrue to the character and more than a bit caricature-ish. I would have loved to have seen a more out-there approach to Steve that didn’t turn him into Jack from Will and Grace.

Only two episodes left of Warehouse 13. How are they going to wrap up this awesome series?

Best Quotes:

Pete/Armando: “Pero… ¡es Prada!”

Artie/El Colonel: “BASTA- …oh, esta bien.”

Things to Ponder:

• What happened to Claire?
• Opinion poll: Flamboyant Steve – funny or somewhat offensive?
• Your Warehouse 13 fun fact for the week – Sonia Braga was a major telenovela star in Brazil in the 70s!
• Artifact roundup: Doña Obregon’s brooch, Harvey Korman’s cufflinks, Edna St. Vincent Millay’s candle