Jurassic World: Dominion Review: It's the 'Fast & Furious' with Dinosaurs

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I actually contemplated not reviewing Jurassic World Dominion after our press screening a few days before release. Because the critics for the most part completely agree on this film. It’s terrible. It’s an insult to its audiences. Which takes a lot to say…. But I do love reviewing truly bad movies. So I figured, this one would be a fun one to write.

What do you need to know about the plot of the sixth film in Jurassic Park / Jurassic World series? Jurassic World: Dominion takes place four years after Isla Nublar has been destroyed. Dinosaurs now live—and hunt—alongside humans all over the world. This fragile balance will reshape the future and determine, once and for all, whether human beings are to remain the apex predators on a planet they now share with history’s most fearsome creatures.

Take a look at the trailer below.

Jurassic World: Dominion Trailer

Jurassic World Dominion Review: What I Did and Didn’t Like

Oh man. Get ready for it. Because your geek girl here didn’t like anything about this film. My friend summed it up best calling it a “steaming pile of plot”. It’s hard to even know where to start with the 2 hour and 27 minute disaster of a film, which by the way, is billed by Universal Studios as the “epic conclusion to the Jurassic era”.

There’s nothing epic about this film. And I say that as someone who not only loves dinosaurs, everything Jeff Goldbum does, and a person that proudly declares 1993’s Jurassic Park as her all time favorite film.

Script

The main issue here is the plot. It’s a terrible plot. And the script has gapping holes in it that just assumes the audience isn’t paying attention. The way the film handles time and distance leaves you to think that this is also a time traveling/teleportation film with how characters jump around from location to location.

Furthermore, not a single scene in this movie matched the tension we all felt countless times in the original. And thats what audiences want. I mean you have dinosaurs. That’s all we want to see. Why would you overcomplicate a plot with a cloned kid, genetically enhanced locusts, velociraptors that follow lasers… I mean the list of unnecessary plot elements goes on and on…

You don’t need any of that. YOU HAVE DINOSAURS. And in the case of this film, you have the powerhouse that was the original cast, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill – all back in their original roles. Those elements right there are all the ingredients that you should need to make an amazing film.

However, we got stuck with a script that not only did a disservice to the original characters and didn’t make full use of the real stars of the film (the dinos), but this film also makes the assumption that its viewers were going to be complete idiots. No need to address things that don’t add up – surely the audience won’t capture that.

No matter how mean laser-pointing, raptor-chasing, Fast and Furious-style chase scenes you put in the film, it’s not going to camouflage a bad script.

Acting

The acting doesn’t stand out as particularly impressive here either. Because the cast didn’t have anything to work with. I have to assume the only reason that Dern, Goldblum, and Neill returned is because the paycheck was a good one. And while it did bring a small feeling of nostalgia to the big screen having them back in their original roles – the characters were poorly constructed and the actors didn’t really have anything to work with.

The “newer” cast members, Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard have both been in the last two films. However, in this story, it feels like they’ve forgotten who they are. They almost feel as if they’re strangers to these characters. Again, I’m blaming the writing here, not the actors. Though, I’m still not buying Chris Pratt as an action hero, and I’d really love to see him return to what he does best, comedy.

Effects

Nothing bad to say about the effects here. The effects were good. Though I feel like the more of these films there have been – the less time we’ve spent on just majestic scenes with dinosaurs. The effects were so freaking good in the original. So wouldn’t you think that nearly 30 years the effects would be even more mind-blowing. They’re not.

Overall Thoughts

Despite all the bad reviews this film is getting, I have no doubt it will still reign in the top spot at the box office this weekend. So many of us fell in love with the original 1993 film, and that love causes us to do stupid things – like going to see five additional films in the series – four of which have been complete crap. (The Lost World was actually pretty good in my book. (Pun also intended as I loved the book as well)).

But in a nutshell (or dino egg?), this film isn’t worth your time. If you’re looking for a little bit of nostalgia, have a movie night in this weekend and watch Jurassic Park. The story is fantastic, the effects still hold up, and the original cast is all you need.