‘Warehouse 13’ 5.02 Episode Recap and Review: Secret Services

There’s a ping in Washington, D.C., Pete and Myka’s old stomping grounds. A lobbyist on a fracking rights bill (that’s “fracking,” not “frakking,” BSG fans) drowned on dry land, right in the middle of his favorite racquetball place. The Vice President and a couple of senators were on the premises at the time, so a couple of other Secret Service agents have been called in. As a matter of fact, Ted and Elise are old friends of Pete and Myka’s! They have jurisdiction here, so they’re all going to have to team up to get this one solved.

In pretty short order, it becomes obvious that Ted and Elise are hiding something. They’re as anxious to talk away from Pete and Myka as the Warehouse agents are to get away to discuss things that smell like fudge. After another victim appears (a senator this time, and one of the names on the fracking bill), Myka notices that Ted has a suspicious parking ticket for One Judiciary Square. Pete and Myka follow up on a hunch and track the pair to the courthouse. They catch Ted and Elise coming out of the courthouse, but their secrecy has nothing to do with an Artifact: they’ve just gotten married (but kind of against agency protocol).

It’s not long before the team hears of a third victim, but this one has no connection to the fracking rights bill. He’s a real estate investor. Well, now he’s a real estate investor. A year ago he was a poolside bartender who suddenly came into a lot of money. That particular pool is at a hotel that had been involved in a major political sex scandal just about a year ago. In fact, the senator who lost his job, his wife, and the election over that scandal happened to lose that particular election to our second victim.

With the scandal as the link, Pete and Myka figure out that the next victim must be the reporter who broke the story in the first place. They go to warn her, but she denies getting any kind of payout for that report. As soon as she says that, she starts drowning right on the spot. Myka saves her using a pendant from the Atacama desert. Now we know that the Artifact is triggered by lying. The reporter is much more willing to ‘fess up, and tells them that she was paid by Diane Hewlett, the Chief of Staff to the deceased senator. She manufactured the scandal so that her senator could win the election a year ago.

Pete, Myka, Ted, and Elise go back to the senator’s office to confront Hewlett. She escapes by using a sword hilt to infect Ted, thus creating a distraction when he lies to Elise about checking out the bikini-clad women at the pool earlier. A quick dig through Hewlett’s secret files reveal that there’s one more person still on her payroll: the girl in the scandal. Hewlett goes straight to her house and uses the Artifact on her, but Pete and Myka get there before the girl tells a lie. Hewlett locks herself in the garage and tries to commit suicide via Artifact, but Pete and Myka snag and bag the Artifact before she manages to get away with murder.

Over on the B plot, Claudia is sneaking around, trying to learn more about what happened to her parents and Claire. Artie, knowing that Claudia would never let this go, offers to just tell her what she wants to know and even bring her to see Claire. He takes Claudia and Steve to the aisle where the memory-walking baby shoes are kept and uses them to let Claudia see his memories of the incident that eventually killed her parents.

When past-Arthur arrived at Claire’s school, she was already in the middle of a rage-induced telekinetic incident. Mrs. Frederic warns Artie to just watch for now, since having a government agent attempt to intervene would likely make Claire even angrier. Claire’s parents want to take her to talk to a therapist, but she becomes paranoid and convinced that they’re trying to lock her away in an institution. Blinded by Artifact-induced rage, she uses her powers to slam her parents’ car repeatedly against a tree, killing them both. She loses consciousness, and past-Artie enters their home to see if he can identify the Artifact that caused it all.

Inside he finds mini-Claudia, watching an old music box burn in the fireplace. She tells him that the music box was bad and was hurting Claire. It’s incredibly rare for someone to be able to identify an Artifact on sight, and Mrs. Frederic says that they’ll have to keep an eye on the young girl.

That’s where Artie’s memories of the event end. He tells Claudia that without the Artifact to neutralize, they were never able to help Claire. Claud is terrified that she’s the one who threw the music box in the fireplace, and is thus responsible for whatever’s happened to Claire now. She wants to use the baby shoes on Claire to find out if that’s really what happened. Artie is reluctant, but agrees to let her enter Claire’s memories with Steve as her anchor. He takes the two to where Claire is being kept. She’s been in a protective coma for the last 15 years, kept that way by a record player Artifact and Joseph Pilates’s resistance bands.

Inside her memories, Claire is conscious enough to take Claudia and Steve to the memories they need to see. Claire bought the music box at a yard sale, despite mini-Claudia’s feelings that it was “bad.” When the rage started to take over her mind, she used her powers to throw the music box in the fire herself. Claudia is relieved that Claire’s coma wasn’t her fault, but dramatically swears that she’ll find a way to help her sister.

Back at the Warehouse, Pete and Myka are shelving the sword hilt of Alfred Dreyfus when Pete brings up the possibility of the two of them having some sort of future together, not unlike Ted and Elise, but at Myka’s somewhat blank look, he backpedals quickly and dashes from the aisle. It’s obvious that Myka’s never honestly considered it before, but it’s starting to sound like maybe Pete has.

You know, last season when Artie called Claire a “very dangerous woman,” telekinetic coma patient was not what I had in mind. I was definitely thinking someone a little more deliberately dangerous, myself. Regardless, I like where they’re going with this story. Claudia always has her most awesome character moments when she’s on an Epic Crusade, and saving her sister certainly is that.

I have to admit, I wasn’t so intrigued by the A plot this week. I get what the writers are trying to do here. They’re attempting to ease us into the idea of Pete and Myka as a couple. (Okay, they’re trying to ease some of us. I have no doubt that there’s been a strong Pyka community since the beginning.) Watching their old colleagues be together seemed a heavy-handed way to do it, though. I’m still willing to give the writers a bit of a pass, considering they were almost certainly planning on introducing the romance more gradually over the course of a full season.

Next week on Warehouse 13, everyone loves a renaissance festival!


Best Quote:

Myka: “I liked it better when you just stared at my boobs.”

Pete: “I can do both… hey! Just did.”


Things to Ponder:

  • Obviously Claudia’s oath to wake Claire is going to backfire horribly. It’s just a matter of how and when.
  • Don’t you think Artie would have at least told Josh about Claire?
  • Yes, Pete. The life of a Warehouse agent is incredibly conducive to raising a child. This is going to turn out so well.
  • Artifact Roundup: Memory-walking baby shoes, music box, record player, Joseph Pilate’s resistance bands, Alfred Dreyfus’s sword hilt, silver necklace from the Atacama desert


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